I’m sitting in what I refer to as my “workout chair”. It’s where I sit after my workouts to catch my breath, rest, and enjoy the sensation of sitting down. It also happens to be where I sit and think about life.
I’m moving closer to realizing my goal of private practice. I actually have two intake sessions scheduled. I’m not practicing independently yet, but I’m two steps closer than yesterday. This journey has been on my mind a lot. I’m aware of things I haven’t given much thought to before. For example: as I was sitting here, enjoying the fact that I’m not running in the heat anymore, the idea of “do it anyway” came to mind. It’s become a favorite slogan of mine to use with my clients when they’re struggling to do something that’s good for them. I find I have to use it with myself, too, because I struggle. Period. The good news is, I’m coming to find, that the struggle is what makes life so beautiful. Without the run, in the heat and humidity, uphill, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy this “workout chair” as much. That’s a metaphor for life in a way.
Rest wouldn’t be as fulfilling without the run.
Granted, I’m no runner. I walk-jog, and DAMN it’s hard. Right now, I walk more than I jog, and to be honest, I’m proud of myself. It’s hard for me to be consistent. It’s a struggle I’ve always had. I used to tell people (and myself) “the only thing I’m consistent at is being inconsistent.” That was my narrative for a long time, until a friend helped me challenge it. With help, I was able to shift my narrative from “I’m inconsistent” to “I never give up.” That shift was really life changing for me. It gave me permission to stop beating myself up and to start appreciating the effort I put into myself.
Those two statements: “I never give up” and “Do it anyway” work well together. I think one is necessary for the other. Not giving up suggests that something is not easily done and doing it anyway suggests that “it” isn’t something I really care to do. Add those two things together and I have a formula for a good life (most of the time). A life where I am fulfilled and proud of intentionally putting effort into myself, even when it’s hard.
My mental health improves significantly when I’m moving physically, and of course my physical health improves, too. But for some reason, I’ll quit doing what I know works… and I’ll feel it in my mind, body, and soul. And I’ll keep not doing it until I get uncomfortable enough to start again. I suppose that’s part of being an imperfect human. I am okay- just for today- with being an imperfect human who never gives up and continues to do it anyway (even if I walk for a while instead of run.)